Sometimes love ends. Sometimes, there’s nothing left to say when any word is a reason for anger and discussion. Sometimes, differences are simply irreconcilable and it is impossible to live together with the person we chose to spend the rest of our lives with.

Yes, it is difficult, frustrating and another failure that will take a long time to get over and start to trust again.

When separations are of mutual agreement and on good terms, it is easier to achieve some balance in the relationship, especially if children are involved. On the other hand, when divorce is difficult and the relationship between both parties unsustainable, children have the most to lose.

Divorce always causes a high emotional impact to children, even in cases where the relationship between parents has little conflict.

Moreover, I have always thought that when a relationship between a couple has no possibility of reconciliation, it is preferable (as hard as it may seem), to separate. Why? It is easier than living under a roof in an unsustainable relationship. Remember: Children absorb everything they see. If there is violence in the house, your children will be violent or afraid, and this can affect their future relationship with others.

Depending on the situation, some children don’t want their parents to divorce. Yet others may feel relieved, especially if their parents fight a lot.

For the child, it is a complex issue to understand, even if they are adolescents. No one but the couple can truly understand why the relationship no longer works. Many children feel guilty because things don’t work out between their parents. It is vital to help children understand they are not part of the divorce, and that both parents will be there to care for them. Nothing will ever change in this sense.

Problems in the home affect the normal developmental activities of a child on a daily basis. When they live in an argumentative atmosphere, when parents face a stormy divorce or when they live with little to no contact, the child can be troubled and turn their parent’s issues into their own. Sadly, many children become bed wetter’s, their grades drop; they develop bad attitudes, sleep very little, abuse toxic substances and hang out with a bad crowd.

It is very important not to argue in front of the children. Always show them how much you love and care for them. Help them understand they are not a part of the issue. Your child needs to have your listening ear, and you need to channel their doubts and fears, reassuring them everything will work out.

However, it is a grave mistake to speak badly about your partner or ex in front of your children. They are not your friends. They are the fruit of your relationship and a part of your ex. Instead, you should teach them to love and respect your ex-wife or ex-husband. Even when the situation is difficult, or when you deal with abandonment issues. There is no need to lie to the child. Just help them to understand that humans make mistakes and sometimes these mistakes are difficult to work out. But one must learn to forgive others.

If you don’t know how to handle the situation, ask for help from therapists and counselors. They have the necessary capacity to help your child face the changes on the horizon. Also ask for help on a personal level, so you can transition in a peaceful and gradual way, without affecting the routine of your child as much as you can. Since talking to someone can help, choose someone impartial outside of the family circle.

Do not use your child to find out things about your ex. He / She, is no longer a part of your life. These actions will only hurt the child who will feel like a double agent or spy. Both homes will suffer as a result. Show interest in whatever is necessary and help your child to spend some time with your ex, especially if you have full custody. Taking one parent out of the equation is not the solution, only in extreme cases like drug abuse, violence, criminality, etc.

If you move to another place, fix a space for your child. It does not have to be the best. Just something they will like, as this will become their second home.

Some children, whose parents’ divorce, need to move into a new home or neighborhood, which can be difficult. However, in most cases, issues like school, friends and neighbours will not change.

Thousands of children suffer from stress after the divorce of their parents each year. The way they react will depend on age, personality and concrete circumstances during the divorce – separation process.

It is important to note any behavioral changes in your child. For example: Sadness, anxiety, mood changes, difficulties in school and with friends, loss of appetite or sleep can also indicate the presence of problems.

I hope this article has been useful. Remember: Ask for help when you don’t feel you can handle the situation on your own. This is not weakness! It is a sign of being smart.

Good luck!