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Undoubtedly, when we have a child, we don’t only provide for their basic needs making sure they lack nothing, but we also want them to be happy. And these two aspects are a great source of concern to us as parents. However, giving the best we can should not be our only concern. We must also be aware that they need us to be there, whether they are 2 years old or even 40! It doesn’t matter how old they are, they ALWAYS need our support.

So, how can you know if your child is happy or not? Well, it depends on the circumstances, but we can generalize on several factors that may apply.

¿What is the best way to find out & how should we do it?

It is very important not to overwhelm them. We must show that we, as a parent, are open one hundred percent for them to express themselves freely and openly. There are several ways to do this. We can use an indirect or direct method to draw them out, so he / she can express their true feelings. They will also be grateful for our attitude when we try to understand them. Here are some examples we can try:

  1. I notice you haven’t been working (or studying) that much. Is something wrong?

  2. Son / Daughter, I noticed you haven’t been to (the institute where they study) and your latest grades have been low. Can I help you with something?

  3. ¿How are things going with (your partner)?

  4. You seem a little down and depressed. Are you alright?

  5. ¿Do you want me to help you with your homework? You seem tired and overwhelmed.

  6. ¿What happened to your friend that you haven’t seen lately?

More than likely, these questions may or may not be an issue with your child, but it doesn’t have to be. It is more feasible that your child may open up to you, thanks to your open and frank communication. And sometimes asking a direct question may not be the best way to go about the subject. In other words such an action might be counterproductive.

Other factors that will contribute to the happiness of your child

·   Always say things in a frank manner, no matter the cost or the pain.

·   Be supportive in their endeavors (no matter what it may be). Don’t just accept it. It is more interesting for a child that their father or mother support them in whatever they can, instead of simply saying “It’s all right.”

·   When you see something going astray, let them know. But don’t repeat yourself over and over. That is frustrating and your child will not like it.

There are other alternative ways to discover if your child is happy or not. But all of it stems from your open attitude, and knowing the best way to give counsel (not criticizing or even giving a hint of criticism). Gently and with integrity is the road we should all take.

¿Did these examples help you to know if your child is happy nor not? ¡Tell us!